Seth again. We are starting to really get into the shameful stuff here. I know I’m supposed to feel better getting it all off my chest, but it sucks seeing how it all get wrong. I own up to it though, so there’s that. I’m taking full responsibility for my actions.
It all came to a head right before graduation when I did the unthinkable: I drove drunk.
It was bound to happen eventually because I was almost always drinking. But I usually stayed with a friend or waited until I was sober enough to drive the four miles home. I don’t know what happened.
One night I was out at the bar as usual with my friends, and we played pool, and I waxed poetic about “real music,” and I even got to kiss a cute girl. The next I knew I was waking up to the paramedics and my car was wrapped around a tree intimately. I was lucky to be alive, and I don’t remember a minute of it.
I guess that’s the scariest part, the fact that I don’t remember anything. It was a total blackout, and I can’t believe that I somehow managed to get in my car and drive halfway home so drunk that I don’t remember anything.
I had twice the legal limit of alcohol in my system, and you bet that I got a DUI. My license was suspended for a year, and I had to take a special course and pay quite a bit of fine. Usually, they’re a bit more lenient on first-time offenders, but I managed to somehow drive into a tree right in front of an elementary school. Yeah, you see the problem here.
No one was hurt, not even me, just some whiplash and bruises. But the thing that hit me most was: someone could have been.
Cars were giant metal deathtraps, and I had driven one drunk. I could have killed someone, I could have killed people. I could have run over a kid. This was my wake up call. It wasn’t that I had put myself in danger, but it was that I had put people in danger who had never agreed to this.
When someone gets in their car and drives, they have to decide to trust the other people on the road, and I had broken that trust. It wasn’t right, and I was so thankful that I had not hurt anyone else in my moment of drunken stupidity.
Because of my accident, I finally realized I needed help.